Rants, Ramblings and other Brain Farts: TGIF?

brain farts

i have a very bad sense of smell
i've never had sushi
i've never been to spain but i kinda like the music
i have a strong desire to have sex with a female that is half my age. luckily half my age is legal in all of the united states and canada provinces
i'm too lazy to capitalize
i will not kiss someone who smokes. to me it is like licking an ashtray. yuck
i think bacon should be a food group by itself
i sometimes go to the restroom during work to masturbate
i never use recipes when i cook
i masturbate because i want to, not because i need to
i married the first woman with which i had sexual intercourse
i like to eat
i like to cook
i like eggs
i have sleep apnea
i have only had one woman ever swallow my cum
i have no idea where the first woman i had sexual intercourse with is today
i have no friends but i know a lot of people
i have a fetish for women in heels
i have decided to extend my "women in heels" fetish to "women in boots"
i hate to clean the kitchen
i don't understand tattoos. why?
i don't smoke, never have never will
i don't like rap music, unless it is really old school like mc hammer
i don't like my job but i make too much money to quit doing it
i could easily become a peeping tom
i can not stop myself from looking at woman's legs
I am not gay. I have never been gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that)
as far as i know, everyone with which i attended high school could be dead

when parking in a multi-level garage, take the stairs or walk the ramps to get out.
don't take the closest parking place to where ever you are going.
take the elevator to the floor above/below your destination and then use the stairs to get to your final floor
never use the elevator unless your destination is more than 3 floors away
drink lots of water while at work
at work, never use the bathroom that is on the same floor as your desk
lose the remote to your tv so you have to stand up to change the channel